LUCIA
“The meeting is now adjourned. We’ll meet again in two weeks’ time to discuss and finalize the hen party.” She (Axelle) pours herself another glass. “To D-Day minus one hundred and five!” she tells us, raising her glass. “Luce, be a dear and order another pitcher or two.”
I order the pitchers as well as a dirty martini for the bride-to-be.
Axelle turns to me, her glass in her hand. “So…what’s new? And you look fantastic, honey!”
“Hey, I look good too!” Noor scowls.
Axelle laughs and turns to Noor. “Oh my God! Did I just compliment the wrong sister? You’re Nooradine?”
“Jealousy is not a good color on you, Noor,” I sneer back, filling myself another drink.
“Please, you’re dieting,” she tells me. “She’s dieting, Axelle!” she says even louder and finishes her drink.
“I’m so not. I’m doing a cleanse and some yoga.”
“The one with Beesly,” Axelle says, serving Noor another glass. “I’ve heard of it. You have to do a lot of stretching with it.” She blows me a kiss. “Good for you, Luce, and shame on you, Noor.”
Nice try, Noor. My turn now. I pour myself another margarita. How many have I had so far? Three or four glasses? Do I even care? I feel warm and tickly. “Andrew is holding out on Noor…sexually.” Bam!
“You don’t say,” Axelle giggles. She finishes her drink and pours another. “What did you do to shift the balance of power?”
“I don’t want to have the suburban house and baby talk right now. It has only been a week.” She empties her drink. “Thanks, big mouth.”
Liar, liar, shorts on fire! “You told me five days,” I tell Noor. I turn to Axelle. “Anyway, did I tell you I was dancing again. Just for fun of course. Not like you or Noor.”
“Oh, I’m so happy!” Axelle gets up and hugs me. “So are you shagging anyone?”
So, I guess we’re back on me. I finish my drink. “Nope.”
“Why the bloody hell not? Isn’t that Marcus bloke still in town?” she asks. And another drink.
“She doesn’t know what she wants,” Noor interjects. Another drink there too. “Greg or Marcus.”
“Greg was in town? Don’t you dare break that young man’s heart…again!” She raises her glass to me and wiggling her finger.
“I never broke his heart!” I tell Axelle. “Greg is one of my closest friends. And I don’t have a lot of those.”
“Hey…you have us,” Noor says.
“My point exactly, Noor,” I say.
“That poor kid was so in love with you back at the dancing academy and he’s still in love you.” Axelle gives me the most loving look. “Who could blame him? My baby is breathtaking.”
“Aw, I love you too, Lelly.” I give her a kiss. “But I’m not going to sleep with Greg. Ever.”
“Right.” Axelle winks at me.
“Your loss. That man is ravishing,” Noor says.
I know he is, inside and out. Let’s change the subject. “Lelly, do you have a dress for the launch party?” I innocently ask.
“Yes I do. An original Renee G creation. She sent it to me earlier this week,” she proudly says. Of course anything for Mrs Anderson. “So… Are you bringing someone?”
Where did this come from? I look to Noor for cover, but she’s too sloshed to be of any help.
“Well are you?” Noor asks.
“Can I bring Beesly?”
“Are you going to be shagging her after? I thought she was married. And straight? And so are you. We were thinking about a man,” Lelly tells me, laughing.
“No! Gosh, Lelly… Marcus then,” I say and I can’t take it back.
“Are you going to be shagging him after?” Noor asks.
“It’s good PR for us. There will be no shagging! Please stop asking or saying it. Understood.” I’m losing my buzz. Another drink it is.
“Okay,” Noor chuckles.
“Right,” Axelle giggles.
“Somebody needs to take that stick out of her butt, or just–” Axelle says.
“Enough!” I clumsily get up. My buzz hasn’t gone after all. “I’m going home…in a taxi…I think.”
“I was just going to say–” Axelle continues.
“It has been months after all since–” Noor says at the same time.
“I got the picture, thanks. Bye.” I’m ready to leave.
“Please stay. We’re sorry,” Noor begs. “We just want you to get some because we care.”
“And you can’t leave yet. We haven’t played refugee African princesses yet,” Axelle begs.
I do like to play that bar game. Axelle is the best story teller. “One more drink and then we go home,” I say sitting back down.
“Okay,” Noor chuckles.
“Right,” Axelle giggles.
Our fourth pitcher arrives and Axelle fills our drinks.
“I don’t have to deal with that kind of shit when I drink with Beesly,” I say, sulking.
“She’s your soul sister. We’re blood and, Luce, it’s thinker than water and wine,” Noor literally burps out. She looks around. “We should get some wine!”
“We’re not going anywhere anytime soon are we?” I say, smiling at my crazy sisters. Let the game begin. We’ll worry about getting home later – much, much later…